A Lamp Unto My Feet Bible Study Website
Matthew 19:1-12
Lesson #46
MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE
- Memory verse: Mat 19:5
- Read Mat 19:1-9 Marriage and divorce
- There was division in the Jewish community regarding marriage and divorce.
- Because of that, the Pharisees thought they would trap Jesus by getting him involved in the religious controversy of that day.
- We discussed Marriage before in Mat 5:31-32.
- Review:
- In theory, no nation had a higher ideal of marriage than the Jews.
- All men were expected to marry and have children.
- The only exception was to study the Law.
- Divorce was unacceptable because God hated it. (Mal 2:16)
- Despite the ideal, the practice fell far short because:
- Women were considered property and had no rights.
- A man could divorce a woman for any cause even against her will.
- Read Deu 24:1-4 The cause:
- Uncleanness was interpreted in 2 ways:
- The Shammai school’s interpretation:
- Uncleanness = adultery
- The Hillel school’s interpretation:
- Uncleanness = anything the man decided was unclean: spoiling dinner, an uncovered head, talking to men, quarrelsome, etc.
- The Hillel school had the greater influence and acceptance among the people.
- No woman could divorce a man.
- The process of divorce was extremely simple. He only had to write down, “I divorce you”, give it to her in the presence of 2 witnesses, and send his wife out of the house.
- Under Jewish law, divorce was compulsory for only two reasons:
- Adultery
- Sterility
- Insanity, incompatibility, desertion, financial stress, or abuse were never causes for divorce.
- God’s view of divorce: Mal 2:16 says that God hates it.
- Jesus’ response to the Pharisees:
- The original plan of marriage in the Garden of Eden was to be a model for all mankind.
- The unbreakable bond is the ideal principle.
- Notice that the unbreakable bond is not law but a principle.
- Notice that the ideal principle was given in Gen 2:24-25, before Adam and Eve sinned in Genesis 3.
- Moses’ permission for divorce on grounds of “uncleanness” was a concession because of man’s sinful human nature.
- Jesus’ response in the three gospels:
- The three gospels have a different wording of Jesus’ response:
- Matthew 19:9 “I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for unchastity, and marries another commits adultery.”
- Mark 10:11-12 “Whoever divorces his wife and marries another, commits adultery against her; and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery.”
- As we have seen a Jewish woman was never permitted to divorce her husband.
- Therefore, Jesus must be speaking generally, for the Romans and Greeks permitted women to divorce their husbands.
- Luke 16:18 “Everyone who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery, and he who marries a woman divorced from her husband commits adultery.”
- Notice that Mark and Luke do not mention Moses’ permission to divorce for “uncleanness” but maintain the high ideal principle of no divorce.
- The high ideal principle of marriage with no divorce:
The Jewish word for marriage is kiddushin. It meant = sanctification or consecration. The same word was used to describe something that was dedicated and surrendered completely to God for his exclusive possession.
Therefore, the husband and wife were to be completely dedicated and surrendered to each other.
They are to be the exclusive possession of the other person; sharing all circumstances of life together.
The consequences of the ideal:
Marriage is a sharing of one’s total life and interests.
Togetherness is the basis of marriage.
Therefore, the development of selflessness is necessary to the high ideal.
Selfishness kills the high ideal.
You must think more of the other person’s needs and desires, than of your own.
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- Marriage is a total union of two personalities:
- Two people living together in a state of constant tension and armed neutrality violates the high ideal.
- Two people living together with one person dominating the other violates the high ideal.
- Two people living together where each person goes his own separate way violates the high ideal.
- Marriage is a fulfilling and a completeness of two personalities. Each person becomes a better and more complete person for having lived with that spouse.
- Marriage is a total union of two personalities:
- Read Mat 19:10-12 The realization of the high ideal
- If marriage is so final and binding, who would want to get married?
- The disciples asked this question of Jesus, but the question is a present-day one.
- In the 1960’s young people began to say that marriage was just a piece of paper.
- Then people began to live together and say that marriage was not important.
- Now there is no social stigma for people who decide to live together without getting married.
- As a result, people say, “Who would want to get married when we can live together and not worry about the legal commitment?”
- Therefore, marriage has become socially unimportant. The high ideal that God explained in the Old Testament and what Jesus explained in the New Testament have been set aside by our society.
- Jesus’ response to the disciples’ question:
- Jesus says that marriage is not for everyone.
- Every person cannot make the commitment to the high ideal.
- Only Christian couples have the potential to live up to the high ideal.
- Without the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit, the high ideal is impossible.
- The same qualities that make a person a good Christian make that person a good mate. (Gal 5:22-23)
- However, marriage is not for eunuchs (someone who is unable to have sexual relations).
- Jesus gives three examples of eunuchs:
- Those who are born with a birth defect and cannot have sex.
- Those men who were castrated because of their job in taking care of palace harems.
- Those who decide to take a vow of chastity so as to work more efficiently for God.
- Because of the high ideal of marriage, those who decide to marry should:
- Take time to find out as much as possible about another’s personality before marriage.
- Be sure that both are Christians. Do not be unequally yoked. (2Cor 6:14)
- Seek God’s guidance before marriage.
- Summary:
- For those who have failed at the high ideal of marriage, God forgives all sin and all failure that is acknowledged and for which repentance is sought. (1Joh 1:9)
- The high ideal is for our benefit and not to be a legalistic restriction.
- Our God forgives and gives new life, new opportunities, new grace day by day to live the high ideal.
Homework
Matthew 19:13-30
- Application of Mat 19:1-12
- If you are married, what areas of your relationship do you need to work on to fulfill the high ideal?
- If you are not yet married, what areas of your relationships with possible mates do you need to commit yourself to so as to maximize your potential to live the high ideal?
- If you have failed the high ideal of marriage, what hope can you gain from this lesson?
- Preparation for Mat 19:13-30
- Read Mat 19:13-14
- Why do you think the kingdom of heaven is like a child?
- Read Mat 19:16-30 Parable of a camel and a rich man
- What do you think the camel through the eye of a needle represents?
- What is the answer to the disciples’ question, “who, then can be saved?” (25)
- What is God’s attitude toward wealth?
- What is the central truth of the parable?
- Read Mat 19:13-14
- Memory verse: Luk 6:38
