Lesson 18

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RETURN TO THE SYLLABUS

EPHESIANS 6:1-9
Lesson #18
THE ROLES OF CHILDREN, PARENTS, EMPLOYEES, AND EMPLOYERS

• Memory verse: Eph 6:4
• Read Eph 6:1-3 Instructions to Children
  • Notice that children are mentioned before the parents, just as wives were mentioned before husbands.
  • Later we will see that servants are mentioned before their masters. Why?
    • The secondary position is always one of submission or obedience.
    • The primary position is always one of ultimate responsibility before God.
      • By putting the secondary position first, it is assumed that those in the primary position are fulfilling their role correctly.
      • Unfortunately that is not always the case. However, the principles still apply because respect and honor is due the position of authority no matter who is in that position.
  • The commands to children:
    • Obedience is not an option, it is a command.
      • Notice that children are not commanded to submit to their parents but to obey them.
        • Remember that submission is an internal attitude of love while obedience is external action.
        • Remember that submission means an equality of positions while obedience means that there is no equality of positions.

• Children do not have equal rights with parents.
  • Notice that children are to obey their parents in the Lord.
  • The phrase “in the Lord” can have different meanings:
    • This can assume that either or both the children and the parents are Christians.
    • This can mean “in the Lord’s sight” as though the Lord is watching over the child.
    • This can mean “as unto the Lord” which was the phrase used in 5:22 to mean “as though you were doing it to God”.
  • Why should a child obey his parents?
    • Eph 6:1 says, because it is right.
    • In other words because it is God’s will that children obey their parents.
    • Disobedience to parents is a sign of the end times. In 2Tim 3:1-2 it tells us that in the last days more and more disobedience to parents will occur.

• The command to honor
  • The nature of the difference between the teen’s struggle for independence and disobedience.
    • it is natural for a teen at some point to struggle for independence from his parents which will at times appear to be disobedience.
    • However there is a difference. It involves honor.
      • if a child honors his parents he has an attitude of respect for them.
      • The word honor means = “to esteem, to value as precious”.

• The command to honor his parents is the mediating attitude against outright, ungodly disobedience.
  • The command to honor his parents is the only command with a promise:
    • That life would go well for you
    • That you would live a long life.
  • This attached promise comes from the Ten Commandments in Exo 20:12. Samson, Absalom, and the sons of Eli are scriptural examples of rebellious sons who did not have a long life.

• Read Eph 6:4 Instructions to Parents
  • While the command is given to fathers, it also includes mothers.
    • The reason it is directed to fathers is because fathers are responsible before God for the raising of their children.
    • While women do much to discipline the children, the father is to set the standard.
  • The command: do not provoke your children to wrath and discouragement.
    • Read Col 3:21
    • Wrath is a deep-seated anger and bitterness that grows over time.
      • How do parents provoke children to wrath and discouragement?
        • Breaking the child’s spirit provokes him to wrath.
        • Breaking the child’s spirit discourages him causing him to feel like a failure.
      • What is the difference between godly discipline of the will and breaking the spirit?
        • Read the following scriptures:
          • Pro 13:24 Pro 19:1,18 Pro 22:15
          • Pro 23:13-14 Pro 29:15,17
        • The Bible tells us that we are to discipline our children even with spanking when necessary to break the child’s stubborn will.
          • However, we are never to break the child’s spirit.
            • When you attack your child’s personality or him as a person, you break his spirit.
            • When you tell your child he is a bad person, that he can never do anything right, you are breaking his spirit.
            • When you discipline your child while you are angry, you have a tendency to be too harsh and break his spirit.
            • You must make the punishment fit the offense.
            • You must communicate love after you have disciplined the child so that he knows you love him unconditionally.
            • When you always blame him and never praise him, you break his spirit.
            • When you show favoritism in the home you discourage him.
            • When you make promises to him and never keep them, you discourage him.

• Proper discipline encourages the child to better behavior next time, while breaking his spirit leaves him with no hope for improvement.
• Proper discipline sets limits and insists on accountability.
  • Accountability teaches the child that there are certain actions that have consequences that they will have to suffer.
  • The suffering of consequences is how our heavenly Father teaches us.

• The command: bring children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
  • Read Deu 6:4-9
  • Nurture means = discipline that leads to growth.
    • Inherent in the meaning is spiritual and emotional encouragement as well as chastening.
    • Discipline provides security for the child.
      • You must achieve a balance.
      • You must maintain consistent discipline.
  • Admonition means = instruction in the ways of God.
    • Nurture and admonition are both mentioned together because both are necessary.
      • Discipline without instruction leaves the child confused as to what he should do.
      • Instruction without discipline leaves the child to interpret what are the proper standards.
    • Admonition of the Lord
      • Notice that instruction should be of the Lord.
      • You are to teach your child about Jesus Christ.
      • It is not the responsibility of the church or the Sunday School teacher to do that. It is the parent’s responsibility (primarily the father’s).

• Read Eph 6:5-8 Instructions to Employees (slaves/servants)
  • While the scripture says servants or slaves, which was a social condition that existed during the time the Bible was written, we can use the same instruction to refer to the work place between employers and employees.
  • The Bible never outwardly attacks the social condition of slavery as wrong, but the nature of the Gospel eventually led to breaking the institution of slavery through Christian men like Wesley and Whitefield.
  • Christ gives us a new motivation not a new organization.
    • The command to obedience for employees (slaves/servants)
      • Obedience is required in the same way a child’s obedience is required.
      • Like a child, the employees’ position is not equal to that of his employer.
    • The attitude of obedience:
      • Fear and trembling (respect and dignity)
        • Your salary depends on your employer.
        • Your goal is to please your employer.
      • A singleness of heart as unto Christ
        • Your loyalty to your employer must not be divided by your personal desires or personal discontent.
        • Not with eye-service as men-pleasers.
          • This means you do more than is expected by your boss to fulfill his goals.
          • You do your very best work for him.
          • You do good will as unto the Lord.
      • Jesus Christ elevates the degraded position of a slave whose body was enslaved to a position of a servant of God whose soul is freed by Jesus Christ.
        • Notice the change of perspective here is the same perspective that lifts the wife and the children to a higher level than the Roman Empire ascribed to those positions.
        • The reward comes from God, not from your employer.

• Read Eph 6:9 Instructions to Employers (masters) (Lev 25:43)
  • The command to the employers (masters): do the same things.
  • In other words, have the same attitudes toward your employees that you expect them to have toward you–those listed above:
    • Respect and dignity
    • Singleness of heart
    • Not with eye-service as men-pleasers
    • Doing good will as to the lord
      • Do not threaten your employees.
      • Do not be abusive to them.
      • Do not do violence against them.

• Summary:
  • The basic principle of love at home and at work:
    • Through chapter 5 and 6, the basic underlying principle of relationships is one of love as unto the Lord.
    • If each person fulfilled his role based on this principle, there would be no divorce, no battered wives, no abused children, no delinquent children, no worker’s strikes, no violence or harassment in the work place, no need for labor unions, etc.
  • We are each responsible for our own role in this life, not for those in authority over us. The principle works, just do it!

HOMEWORK
EPHESIANS 6:10-24
This is a self-study. Please do not send homework answers to the teacher forcorrection.

• Application of Eph 6:1-9
  • If you are a child, what attitudes do you need to change as a child toward your parents?

• If you are a parent, what attitudes do you need to change as a parent toward your child?

• If you are an employee, what attitudes do you need to change with respect to your employer?

• If you are an employer, what attitudes do you need to change with respect to your employees?
• List some specific things you will do this week to change those attitudes.

• Preparation for Eph 6:10-24
  • Read eph 6:10-24
    • What do you learn in this section about your enemy, Satan?

• What do you learn about how to fight him?

• Memory verse: Eph 6:10