A Lamp Unto My Feet Bible Study Website
Related Articles
EPHESIANS 5:18-33
Lesson #14
HEAVEN IN YOUR HOME: THE WIFES ROLE
- Memory Verse: Eph 5:22
- Read Eph 5:18-33 Heaven in your home
- To have heaven in your home, you need to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
- Only through the power of the Holy Spirit can we live with peace and unity in our homes.
- The verb “be filled” means to keep on being filled continuously with the Holy Spirit. The verb is also passive which tells us that we do not perform the filling. The Holy Spirit does that.
- The verb “filled” means = controlled by.
- In other words, it means to continue to let the Holy Spirit control you in your mind, emotions, and will.
- Therefore, there is a cooperation where man does his part and God does His part.
- We cooperate and let the Holy Spirit have control even when our emotions are aroused in anger, jealousy, hatred, etc.
- We determine not to react with human emotions but let God handle the situation.
- Then the Spirit takes control and gives you love, peace and joy and self-control.
- Read Gal 5:22-23 These are the characteristics that the Holy Spirit produces inside of the believer when the believer permits the Spirit to have control.
- How can you tell when a person is filled with (controlled by) the Holy Spirit?
- He is full of joy (5:19)
- He is thankful (5:20)
- He is submissive to God’s will (5:21-33)
- Joyfulness not drunkenness in the home (19)
- Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit.
- These are the characteristics in Gal 5:22-23 that the Holy Spirit produces in us if we let Him.
- Joy does not rise and fall like a thermometer depending on the environment.
- Instead joy is a deep experience of adequacy and confidence in spite of the circumstances around you.
- Drunkenness is being controlled by alcohol while the joy of the Holy Spirit controls the believer.
- The mis-use of alcohol in the home tears down the family as well as degrading the value of the alcoholic person.
- Paul is the example of joyfulness. (Phi 4:11)
- Thankfulness in the home (20)
- A grateful heart promotes happiness in the home.
- The person with a grateful heart has an humble spirit because he acknowledges that God is the giver of every good and perfect gift. (Jam 1:17)
- Thankfulness for all things is important. (20)
- Does Paul mean we should thank God for the bad things that happen? No.
- He means that we must thank God in all the bad things that happen.
- Read 1The 5:18
- In the worst situation you can thank God for His constant presence with you and for the challenge that this opportunity presents to make you a better person.
- Giving thanks to God during trials prevents depression.
- A complaining spirit permits Satan to control you and the situation.
- Thankfulness defeats Satan and glorifies God.
- A grateful heart promotes happiness in the home.
- Submissiveness in the home (21-33)
- Notice that before Paul talks about husband and wife relationships, he says that believers should submit one to the other. (21)
- In this verse there is no reference to any role of authority.
- Therefore, there is a general principle of submission in the body of Christ between Christians, no matter what level of maturity, no matter what position of authority, no matter what gender, and no matter what age. This general principle of submission is based on love and humility one to another. (Phi 2:1-4 Rom 12:10)
- What submission is not:
- Submission does not apply only to women.
- Submission does not mean all women are to be submissive to all men.
- Submission does not mean women are inferior to men.
- Submission does not mean a Christian woman should be submissive to any and all Christian men.
- Submission does not mean a Christian wife must submit to everything her non-Christian husband commands.
- Submission is not a characteristic for pagan marriages.
- Submission is not being a door mat to let others walk all over you.
- Notice that before Paul talks about husband and wife relationships, he says that believers should submit one to the other. (21)
- To have heaven in your home, you need to be filled with the Holy Spirit.
- Read Eph 5:22 A wife’s submission to her husband
- (Material from “Marriage Plus” Seminar by Ray Mossholder and “Basic Youth Conflicts” Seminar by Bill Gothard)
- Read 1Pet 3:1-6
- Keep in mind that Paul is talking to Christian husbands and Christian wives in Eph 5 and Christian wives married to non-Christian husbands in 1Pet 3.
- What is an accurate definition of submission:
- Submission is an attitude of love that decides to yield the will in order to obey. It is primarily a military term that means = “to place in the right order”. It indicates the arrangement of troops for moving into battle. Therefore, to defeat the enemy in your home, submission is required.
- When a woman submits to her own husband, she moves into the proper place of spiritual warfare for defeating Satan in the spiritual realm.
- When a woman submits to her own husband, she is submitting to God.
- Why should a Christian wife submit to her husband?
- A wife’s submission keeps a woman under the protection of her husband, physically and spiritually.
- A wife’s submission promotes unity within the home.
- A wife’s submission means she adapts herself to the goals of her husband.
- A wife’s submission means she adjusts herself to the will of her husband. It is an inner attitude of love, not just an outward obedience of action.
- A wife’s submission encourages her husband to love her because she demonstrates that she values and needs him.
- A man will love his wife in direct proportion to how much he loves himself, because they are to be one flesh.
- A wife’s submission teaches submission to her children. The Bible links rebellious children with a contentious wife in Pro 19:13.
- What happens if a husband does not deserve to be obeyed?
- A wifes submission is not given because it is deserved. Submission is a working principle in the kingdom of God that God uses to bring unity, happiness, and maturity. (Tit 2:5b)
- It takes faith to obey when you know your husband is wrong.
- In other words, you are trusting God to change his mind. Remember that if both are Christians, both are submitted to God.
- Submission permits God to have control of your marriage, your home, and your relationship.
- Wives are to submit to their husbands on 3 levels:
- =1= Spiritually
- As you submit, you trust God to work through your husband for the spiritual good of all your family.
- You trust God for spiritual guidance, for development of spiritual maturity.
- As you submit, you become acquainted with his personality.
- Discover what makes him happy.
- Encourage him.
- Discover what are his goals and plans.
- Fit in with them.
- Discover what makes him different.
- Know the ups and downs of his personality.
- =2= Mentally
- As you submit, you become acquainted with the personality of your husband.
- You discover what makes him happy and then you can encourage him.
- You discover what are his goals and plans and then you can adjust yourself to them.
- As you submit, you become acquainted with the personality of your husband.
- =3= Physically
- As you submit, you meet his needs.
- Sexually (1Cor 7:4)
- For food, clothing, housing, companionship.
- Should a wife submit to her husband when it involves sin? No.
- As you submit, you meet his needs.
- =1= Spiritually
- Christ is the wife’s example of submission:
- He learned submission.
- He committed no sin.
- He had no deceit in his mouth.
- He did not retaliate against suffering.
- He was constant in prayer.
- He gave up his own will and desires.
- The role of a wife is to be a “help meet”
- Read Gen 2:18-20
- The phrase “help meet” is often mis-understood. It means = one to face him.
- A wife is to confront her husband when she thinks he’s wrong. For example: “Honey, I was thinking and I wonder if…what do you think?”
- A wife is to encourage her husband when he is discouraged.
- A wife acts as a mirror to her husband regarding his spirituality.
- God holds the wife responsible for building up or tearing down her home and family.
- Read the following Proverbs:
- Pro 14:1
- Pro 21:9
- Pro 21:19
- Pro 15:17
- Pro 12:4
- Therefore the wife is responsible for the atmosphere in the home.
- Exemplified in the type of television programs she permits.
- In the timing of conversation and sharing that takes place in the home.
- Discussion: Solve the problem: Gen 20:2-4 1Pet 3:6
- A beautiful Christian woman is told by her husband to lie to his boss about their husband and wife relationship. Should she submit to his demands? Why or why not?
HOMEWORK
EPHESIANS 5:18-33 — continued
This is a self-study. Please do not send homework answers to the teacher forcorrection.
- Application of Eph 5:21 – Submission
- Paul said we are to submit one to another.
- In what ways do you need to be more submissive?
- As a wife to her husband
- As a church member
- As a child to a parent
- As an employee to an employer
- As a citizen to the government
- As a Christian to God
- In what ways do you need to be more submissive?
- Paul said we are to submit one to another.
- Preparation for Eph 5:18-33 — continued
- Read Eph 5:18-33
- What is the role of the husband?
- Read Eph 5:18-33
- In what way can the husband cause submission to occur in his wife?
- Memory verse: Eph 5:25
